Archives; State of the Union 2007 Parts 1-4

(This is one of several old blogs. I am attempting to centralize them, but I copied and pasted the original blog, line for line, and typo for glorious typo. You can find them all, and a LOT more HERE.)

My State of the Union Address Part 1-                                                                Politics
January 3, 2007
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2006 is dead and buried, and the cogs of the societal machine continue to spin, so somewhat surprisingly, we humans failed yet again to destroy our world, but credit must be given for the effort we put forth to try.  I am jumping on the bandwagon here and putting out my year in review; unwanted and unasked for though it might be.  2006 is 2001′s bitch, but it was still an interesting year and I wanted to get a few of my thoughts down in a personal memory purge so I could get them out of my head and continue on with the daunting task of paying attention in the new year.  It was a dark and dangerous year typified by failures in our society and our government, but topped with the delicious icing of seeing the Neo-con way of life being voted out of office in what was as much a judgment on the strategy of the country more than the ousting of certain politicians, and the year ended on a higher note than I thought was possible as 2006 began with a whimper.  Still, not to be outdone, politicians on both sides of the fence did not fail to gloriously disappoint me, nor did many of the truly dumb acts that littered our country like roadkill on a highway of life.  (I also would like to apologize for that phrase “highway of life”, it is the first thing that sprang to mind).

For me the thing that stands out the most vividly of 2006 is the mid-term elections.  Not only did they change the shape of the country, and disavow the failings of the outgoing government, they happened recently so I still remember them, and I don’t have to do a google news search for top stories of 2006 to remember.  Big plus for me.  Despite the fact that Democrats still have no well defined plan other than to do the opposite of what the Republicans do, they promoted bi-partisan co-operation but have made little to no effort to achieve that, and are hanging on to control of Congress by a heartbeat (literally a heartbeat in South Dakota), they did a masterful job of positioning themselves as the harmless neighbor that wants to be your buddy.  They essentially took the role of good cop to the Republicans last 6 years of bad cop, and it worked.  How much of the Democratic strategy was successful versus people in general getting fed up with the state of affairs, is a matter of debate, but however it occurred Bush is now a lame duck.  And again, I would like to thank the people of Pennsylvania for voting out Rick Santorum.  I know I should probably let it go, but this guy pisses me off.  He thanked God for allowing him to serve as long as he did, so by that logic, I guess I will thank God for helping vote him out.  Now if God would only get to the smiting I would be happy.

You can have skipped every single news cast all year, and probably guess that there were several Congressional scandals as well.  There were so many that I need trading cards to keep up, like the kids at comic book or gaming stores that play the D&D type games.  “Oh, you have a lobbyist scandal at plus +22 corruption?  Well I counter you with a Senator harassing his young male pages +36 fucked up!”.  Sadly it is so common that it isn’t even surprising, and behind that pesky war in Iraq thingee, voters cited corruption as the number two motivation for their vote.  I could go on and on and on and on, etc, etc about this particular subject, but I will refrain for sake of the 3 people that haven’t already stopped reading this.  C’est la vie.

How can a state of the nation post go on without a section dedicated to our beloved President.  After the continued non failure failure in Iraq, North Korea and Iran pretty much giving America the finger while jerking off gleefully over their new atomic toys, as well carrying the lowest approval rating since Nixon post Watergate, I’m here to say give the guy a break.  Unlike many, I do not think Bush is in anyway stupid.  Horrible with that pesky En-ga-lish language though he may be (hey, I hear English is one of the most difficult languages to learn), I just think he is a spoiled rich boy that found God and thinks the rest of us peasants are dumb and need direction, then he expected us to shut up and do what we are told like good little surfs.  I genuinely believe that his lack of answers for…well…anything is not because he doesn’t have answers, but because he was not prepared for people to actually question and doubt him.  As Nixon said, if the President does it, it is not a crime, and I believe Bush feels strongly that that is the case.  I didn’t end well for Nixon either, so hopefully history will bitch slap Bush for his arrogance and he will be free to go on and take over another company, then run it into the ground just like everything else he has been involved with.  Perhaps with his newfound spare time he can go about redecorating the White House.  I’m sure he will do a fabulous job, as long as he has the support of a staff of semi-competent monkeys and God.  Shit, he is going to do it all in lime green isn’t he?

It has also been the year of the declining Hollywood whore, and I am sorry to see it go.  All the truly remarkable wastes of skin seem to have finally used their 15 minutes of fame and are embarking on a fresh 15 minutes of infamy.  The days of Paris Hilton’s lazy eye and truly remarkable stupidity seem to finally have worn thin on people, and she thankfully is taking down Brittney Spears with her- or at least helping speed Spears’ descent.  And can anyone tell me exactly what it is that Nicole Ritchie actually does?  Anyone?  And what the fuck is a K-Fed?  Seriously, what does it take to truly alienate the public?  How much crap do we have to swallow until people collectively scream enough, no more!  Mel Gibson can go on an anti-Semitic rant, blame it on the demon that is alcohol without taking any personal responsibility, then still open a Mayan language movie at number 1.  I wish I was rich and famous so I could be totally useless, shit all over my adoring fans, then make even more money for putting out, oh say, a horrible CD displaying my lack of talents but featuring a picture of me half naked on the cover ala Hilton.  Well maybe not me per say, but the point remains.  Maybe if we take Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, and all the other useless twats that think they are talented enough to put out an truly awful album, and think they deserve the love and adoration of people everywhere even while they do things that would make Larry Flynt stop and say “what the fuck?”, then drop them over in Iraq.  Al Queda will feel sorry for us and leave us alone, knowing that those idiots are one fan away from bringing about the certain doom of Western culture.  C’est la vie.

I could rant for hours, but instead I will break here and continue on later to avoid posting a blog that is the size of a short story.  More to come.

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State of the Union Part 2
Entertainment January 4, 2007

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Moving on from the President and dirty whores, 2006 also saw its fair share of tragedies in the form of really rich and important people we will never have met, passing away and saddening us all.  Still fresh in our minds is of course Soul King James Brown and Gerald Ford, our most beloved President  that was never elected for an executive office job.  It has been said many times lately that Ford was a very decent person, which is possibly why he lost his bid for (re)election.  Well that or pardoning Nixon.  Without mud to fling, how can we poor, dumb Americans know who the better candidate truly is?  He lived a good life that was long and full of interesting things, so hopefully he passed well.  Then of course there was Anna Nicole’s son, who has become a footnote into the silly baby daddy drama that has followed in the wake of his death.  So much so that sadly I have forgotten his name.  At least he gave the media something to focus on for awhile.  They must have been bored, what with the war in Iraq only gradually getting worse.

We also lost the television great Aaron Spelling this year, and TV will never be the same again.  Without Spelling I never would have gotten a real sense of how hard it can be for uptight white kids to grow up in Beverly Hills.  From him I also am surprised that I have yet to be shot, stabbed, beaten into a coma, discovered I had a child to only then discover it isn’t really mine which would lead to me being shot/stabbed/beaten into a coma, or realized that every girl in certain areas of California should be a model because ugly people apparently are just something that happens elsewhere.  He will be missed.  And although it happened 10 years ago, it was good to see JonBenet Ramsey’s murder drudged up from the depths when John Mark Karr decided to confess to it.  I’m sure OJ was thrilled to know that even 10 years later the true perpetrators of a heinous murder could in fact be brought to justice.  But I’ll get to OJ later.  Despite the fact that Karr was found innocent by reason of the fact that he is a fucking fruit loop, it gave us all a bit of morbid entertainment, and what more could we ask for.  C’est la vie.

This leads me to perhaps one of the biggest stories of 2006, the death of Steve Irwin, or more accurately the attack of the stingrays.  Irwin was just the first victim of stingray aggression in 2006, and he will not be the last to face these rats of the sea.  I ask you all in joining me to ask for God to grant my prayer that all these vicious so called “creatures of the seas” will be smited.  I’d also like a pony if you are able to work that in.  Irwin’s death was a shock to most of us, as he seemed like a genuinely good guy that loved life, and I for one am tired of these motherfucking stingrays in the motherfucking ocean.  You will be avenged, Steve.

There was also a very important “near miss” in the death column, as now former Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon clings on to life, despite the massive stroke that left him in a vegetative state and caused a transfer of power in Israel that saw Ehud Olmert take the role of Israeli Prime Minister.  Which he then used to spearhead an attack on Lebanon within 4 months of taking office.  Perhaps his close ties with BushCo convinced him that you are not a true leader until you blow up something.  If so, Olmert is a fast learner.  Bewilderingly Olmert’s popularity is at an extremely low point, and shockingly they are suggesting that he might not hold the office for long.  I can’t see how, but perhaps Olmert’s declining popularity is in some small part due to that little war between Israel and Hezbollah that saw an end to the over population of Southern Lebanon, as well as the menace of non-oil saturated waters.  The eco-system had it coming, what with being all watery and life sustaining and all.  The “July War” as it is being called, also had the fortunate effect of increasing the sympathy of Hezbollah and swelling their ranks, which was the exact opposite of Israel’s intentions.  At least stuff blowed up real pretty.  Israel’s stated goal was to grow dissention and dissatisfaction between the Lebanese government and Hezbollah, and in a sense it worked, since the Lebanese infrastructure was crippled, so in a sense it was a partial victory.  So with no actual power in the Lebanese government to help Hezbollah, plus the vast majority of the casualties being Lebanese civilians, and 1/3 of those were children under 13, and I guess you could say it was Mission Accomplished!

While on the subjects of strokes, how can we forget Fidel Castro ceding power to his younger brother Raul.  Fidel didn’t have a stroke though.  In fact Fidel is perfectly healthy, does not have pancreatic cancer, and is simply taking a long break from the duties of being el Presidente.  Let’s all wish him a speedy recovery, or at least let us think about wishing him a speedy recovery, but then stopping because there is nothing wrong with him, and he is set to live to be one billion years old.   To Fidel’s credit, the citizens of Cuba are praying for a speedy recovery from his vacation, and seem to genuinely love him.  Of course those that don’t have historically been exiled to the afterlife, so it is hard to get a true measure.

Still how can we discuss death without also discussing the joy of life.  This year saw the births of some truly remarkable unions, perhaps most dominated by the emergence of Suri Cruise.  Suri is possibly the most famous infant on the planet, and will likely grow up in a lifestyle fitting of a princess.  I wish her well when she checks into her first rehab clinic at 13.  Suri will be in good company with Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, although Shiloh’s name is far longer, and thus much more impressive.  She has TWO stars names attached to her, not just one.  So take that Suri.  Didn’t Brittney Spears push out some kids this year too mere minutes before divorcing that one guy whose name I am making every possible effort to forget as quickly as possible?  Of course it might be difficult for Suri to score drugs under the ever watchful eye of Tom Cruise who will doubtless disapprove of illegal drugs just as much as he disapproves of prescription drugs, people that dismiss Scientology, and giving up screen time.  Cruise also celebrated his shotgun Scientology wedding with womb donor and (ironically) perpetually drug addled looking Katie Holmes.  I will leave the nice Scientologists alone, as they frighten me and seem to be everywhere.  And if a Scientologist is reading this, may I say that I too believe that man evolved from a clam, and I think it is absolutely ok to take all of your holy doctrines and beliefs from a mediocre sci-fi writer that embellished massive chunks of his own life.  Furthermore, I believe that South Park deserved to have their freedom of speech imposed upon by Tom Cruise and the other Scientologists that righteously stopped the episode that mocked Scientology from being aired.  Good on you guys, my check is in the mail.

While on the subject of entertainment, an American’s year in review can never truly be complete without a section dedicated to entertainment.  It could be argued that everything in our culture is entertainment based, or at least image based, which goes hand in hand with entertainment except in the state of Missouri where it is both illegal and immoral for two of anything other than a man and woman to go hand in hand anywhere.  Possibly my favorite story of the year entertainment wise came from the Bible movie “The Nativity Story”, yet another movie attempting to cash in on the conservative Christian wave that slammed into American culture like a hurricane through a drastically unprepared Gulf Coast city that was then left for dead by all levels of government for several days.  In “The Nativity Story”, the focus is on the Virgin Mary, played by the 16 year old actress Keisha Castle-Hughes, who was forced to miss the premiere of the movie at Vatican City, due to a slight case of pregnancy.  To make it even sweeter, it was of course out of wedlock, and the impregnator was 20, which would technically be statutory rape in many states in the US.  The Vatican however is much looser on their age restrictions.  Whether or not this was a factor in the definitively non-”Passion of the Christ” opening, or whether it was just a shitty movie is open for debate.  Other notable stories were the Grimm fairytale wedding and divorce of Spears and K-Fraud, Borat taking on America and getting sued for showing some of our dumb side, and “Lost” still pissing me off.  Oh, and Will and Grace is off the air, but that is still too recent and I…I…I’m sorry, I just can’t talk about that yet.

I have at least one more post in me.  I haven’t even gotten to sports and the headbut heard around the world, which by the way, if you google the word “headbut” will bring up 8 pages worth of Zidane’s finishing move.  C’est la vie.

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State of the Union Part 3
Sports and the Universe January 8, 2007

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Once more into the breach dear friends. Of all the disturbing stories of 2006, and there were many, it would be hard to find one more alarming than OJ’s book “If I did it”.  I considered writing another blog dedicated just to this but I elected not to due to the public outcry against it.  If I had written another blog about OJ, it would be to reinforce the idea that he is a scumbag that deserves to be lost in the West Virginia woods while banjo music plays and the imitated squeals of a piggie shatter the silence.  I did not write that last sentence, but if I had, I would further add that I hope OJ’s asshole grows shut.  If he did it.  If not I wish him luck in hunting down the real killer, and suggest that if no one else can help, and if he can find them, perhaps he can hire the A-Team.

As I mentioned on the last part, I have yet to touch on sports.  The World Cup came and went with a disappointing defeat for America, thus challenging the notion that we are God’s favorites.  Despite this obvious proof that God is dead, it proved to be another exceptional World Cup.  Sadly the players were able to keep the violence on the field this year, and there were very few stories of riots, and disappointingly not one fan set themselves on fire in an attempt to help their team as a phantom 12th player on the field.  Better luck next time.  For the next few years at least, the ’06 World Cup will probably be remembered more for Zidane’s headbutt than anything else, which is good for America, as we had our asses handed to us.  There were important lessons to be taken from the World Cup though, and I for one have included these lessons in my every day life.  Just the other day I was typing when a co-worker brushed pass me.  I fell to the floor clutching my leg, but I was denied the satisfaction of seeing my co-worker receive a card.  Possibly due to the fact that we were in an office without referees so I have since petitioned my HR department for referees to be provided during work hours but I have yet to hear back yet.  There were also the Olympics in Torino, but the Olympics seldom cause riots, so I will not waste space discussing them.  I am also very disappointed in the citizens of St. Louis for missing the perfect opportunity to loot their city in appreciation for the St. Louis Cardinals World Series win.

A good friend of mine pointed out that I was missing one of the biggest and best stories of 2006, and I apologize for my negligence.  The Fiji military takeover pales in comparison, as does event he shocking news that Pluto is no longer a planet (which I still think is bullshit, and hope to start a “bring Pluto back” grassroots movement- feel free to send me donations).  I am of course speaking of Ted Haggard, The New Life Church Pastor that resigned after it came out that he was paying a male prostitute for sex while he was on meth for the last several years.  Haggard, the President of the National Association of Evangelicals, a group that represents 45,000 churches with 30 million members, and a frequent advisor to the White House, denied all charges with the backing of the NAE until the conservative Republican kryptonite- those pesky things called “facts”- were unfairly brought into the mix.  Haggard was also a strong supporter of a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage, and apparently a believer in the little known scripture that states “He that giveth and not receiveth doest not be gay”.  To the children of America, I would advise them to practice being a hypocrite immediately, as it seems to be an open path to the highest offices in the land.  I would also advise they make friends with spoiled rich kids, and despite any noticeable qualifications, they too can receive high office.  Perhaps the head of the FEMA will soon be open.  To add salt to the wound, the male prostitute Haggard had sex with (allegedly), claims to have turned down the meth Haggard offered, because he does not do drugs.  At least one of them had some decency, proving yet again that your prostitutes can be trusted to do the right thing even when extremely influential, high ranking spiritual advisers cannot.

And while on the topic of crazy people in high office, this year also saw the rise of both Iran and North Korea, both of whom advanced on the “fuck America” strategy which was surprisingly successful.  North Korea tested their first long range missiles, the Taepodong-2, and although the impressive phallicly named missile failed and detonated in the ocean, the shockwave was felt in Washington, who had until then proceed under the “no, fuck you” negotiating tactics.  Iran on the other hand has taken the “America who?  Oh, them?  Yeah, fuck them” tactic of diplomacy which has earned them the friendship of Russia.  Thankfully Bushco had a stalwart ambassador to the United Nations in the soon to be gone form of John Bolton.  Praised by several members of the United Nations as being “rude”, “undiplomatic”, and even receiving the highest praise from North Korea for being “such human scum and [a] bloodsucker”.  Well done John, even higher office awaits no doubt.  It is encouraging to know that he was nominated by Sweden’s former Prime Minister for the Nobel Peace Prize, proving that it isn’t just America that has a few fucking morons in charge.  Thanks Sweden, good looking out.

Speaking of Sweden brings to mind a fun little episode in the world involving their neighbors the Danes.  Almost a footnote in ridiculous for the year, was the Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten’s  cartoon depiction Muhammad as a terrorist.  The Muslim masses protested both the sacrilege of the Islamic tradition of depicting Muhammad, as well as the assertion in the cartoon that Islam leads to violence.  Many Muslims then proceed to launch into a bloody riot, marking the beginning of quite possibly the silliest named riot in history, the Cartoon Riots.  Despite the name I was sad to see that there were scarce reports of people dropping anvils on each other, and the sales of Acme products did not see a significant increase.  C’est la vie.

As I hinted at earlier, the most upsetting story of the year for me would have to be the loss of my beloved Pluto.  Taken from us far too early, the planet that was discovered by University of Kansas Professor Clyde Tombaugh, was stripped of its title after accusations of its worthiness to hold the title of planet began to surface on the internet.  Pluto has been accused of being “too small” to be a planet, and those rumors were intensified with the discoveries of two trans-Neptunian bodies called Eris and Quaoar.  These two little whore rocks sparked renewed debate over the validity of Pluto as a planet because Pluto fails to meet one of the three definitions of a planet, by being unable to clean up its own neighborhood (gravitationally speaking).  If we are going to begin excluding places based on the inability to clean up a neighborhood, may I suggest taking East St. Louis off of the map.  Maybe Oakland as well.  When does it stop!?  How far will these so called “scientists” be allowed to practice their bigotry and elitism?  Yes Pluto has made its share of mistakes, I am not denying that.  Yes there is its questionable relationship with its moon Charon, but Charon has yet to file any formal complaints, and until proof of wrongdoing surfaces, how can we sit in judgment over Pluto?  Search your hearts people, you know it to be true.

I’m sorry, I need a break.  Pluto’s tragedy takes it out of me.  My 4th and final post will be coming soon, once I am able to pick up the pieces and move on.  Alas poor Pluto, alas.

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State of the Union -Part 4 The Finale
January 11, 2007

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This is the last of my state of the union blogs, I hope you have all enjoyed them, and I can’t wait for 2008 when I will be discussing the 2006 blog as one of my favorite times of the year.  Ah, memories.  This will be my last of the series, and I will try to keep it relatively brief.  As long as no one brings up Pluto or that whore of a wannabe planet Quaoar, I should be able to keep it together long enough to finish.  While still on the subject of planets (yeah, I said planet IAU), in 2006, there was a great deal of talk of life on Mars in the form of bacteria and amoeba, and for the first time liquid was discovered on Mars.  Well it was discovered the other day that a Mars lander from the late 70s may have found Martian microbes!  Then…ummm…kinda, sorta killed them.  Oops.  Personally I say don’t weep for those alien microbes, you have no idea what they were planning.  Sure they might look like harmless bacteria, but that is how it all begins.  At any moment those microbes could have begun to evolve, and from there it is a short step from microbe to WMD, and from there a bloody interstellar war.  Not on America’s watch.  So on behalf of America , you are welcome.

While reading up on the above topic, I stumbled across an announcement on the 5th of May, announcing that astronomers have discovered a newly formed, secondary storm on Jupiter, similar to Jupiter’s “red eye”, which is a massive, ever raging storm in the atmosphere.  Well astronomers, are you sure it is a storm and not a dwarf storm?  Maybe it is just a passing storm front, and not technically a storm.  Can I see the classifications of what a storm is?  Are you sure?!  I would hate to see you get attached to your new storm only to have it ripped away from you after years of a relationship by so called “scientists”!  Give me back my 9th planet you bastards!  Moving on.

One of the most inspirational stories of the year came from the Oscars.  It is a story of true perseverance, and kids with hearts of gold making good.  I am of course referring to Three 6 Mafia winning the Oscar for best song.  Theirs is an inspirational tale filled with love, loss, and bitches, and the years have seen Three 6 overcome numerous obstacles including the loss of both Gangsta Boo AND Koopsta Knicca.  Most groups might not be able to carry on without two such stalwart members but Three 6 did, despite feuds with truly upstanding former members such as Playa Fly and Kingpin Skinny Pimp.  These plucky youths battled back onto the scene with such spiritually uplifting hits as “Sippin’ on Syrup”, “Who Gives a F___ Where you From”, and “2-Way Freak”.  They also continue to cling to their Christian upbringings, deny that they worship Satan, and two of the original members have gone on to the lava hot field of Christian rap.  I would also like to extend my prayers to Lord Infamous, one of the founders of Three Six, who had a chance to reconnect with God as he spent the last year in jail.  A true inspiration to us all.

Hard to deny that one of the biggest stories of the year was Saddam Hussein’s trial, but it really didn’t have the resonance that it potentially could have.  Of course if anyone ever doubted a guilty verdict, I would be happy to point and laugh at you, but it was more than that.  Where were the theatrics that we Americans have become accustomed to during trials?  I don’t think I once saw anything about a glove fitting, no baby daddy drama, and for the love of God where did all the catch phrases go?  “If the Shi’ite victims aint here, Hussein should be clear.”  Yeah, not as good as the glove, but I’m no lawyer.  Sure there were several famous and renowned legal minds at work, but they kept getting themselves killed, so it was hard to keep track.  I also don’t understand the uproar over the tape of Hussein being released on the internet.  It was obvious that the video would make its way online as soon as they announced it was to be taped, so they might as well have put it on pay-per-view and cashed in.  If the WWE can continue to sell monthly PPPs at $50 and succeed, Hussein’s execution might have funded the construction of over a dozen McDonalds in the Iraq market.  A true waste of potential.

On a more exciting note, who can forget ICM awarding the Fields Medal to Grigori Perelman for bitch slapping his critics and proving once and for all the validity of the Poincare Conjecture, and in doing so pissing all over the doubters.  Eat shit and die J.H.C. Whitehead!  Your proofs from 1930 were wrong bitch! Take that weak shit on out of here!   That pimp Perelman with the help of his trusty sidekick Richard Hamilton, aka Dick Ham, then denied the Fields Medal because he didn’t think the Fields committee were smart enough to “get” him.  A true mathematical bad ass has arrived.  In the words of Huai-Dong Cao, “Hamilton and Perelman have done the most important fundamental works. They are the giants and our heroes.”   Fuck yeah!

2006 is over and done, and I intend to look forward to 2007.  The year is already shaping up to be one of the best for me yet, and I refer you to this email I received today:

My name is Mr Eric Konan, a Banker and accountant with a prime bank here Abidjan. I am the personal accounts manager to Engr.Miller Fleming, a National of your country, who used to work with an oil servicing company here in Cote Ivoire.

My client, his wife, and their three children were involved in the ill fated Kenya Airways crash in the coasts of Abidjan in January 2000 in which all passengers on board died. Since then I have made several inquiries to your embassy to locate any of my clients extended relatives but has been unsuccessful After several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his last name over the internet,to see if I could locate any member of his family hence I contacted you. Of particular interest is this huge deposit with our bank here in,where the deceased has an account valued at about ($8.5 million US dollars).They have issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or the bank will declare the account unservisable and thereby send the funds to the bank treasury.

He goes on to say that the money is all mine, all I have to do is help him with a few legal things and send him a few dollars to get the ball rolling.  That’s right, I’m rich, bitch!  Don’t worry, I won’t forget the little people that helped me get where I am.  Nor will I forget the people that have held me back.  Your time has come!  Once my private army of robots is ready, you will see me again.  One final time.  You will all suffer, while I watch and laugh!  Muwahahahahahaha!

Er…ummmm….it has been brought to my attention , that this email may not have been entirely legitimate.  Naturally I..ummm…I knew that of course.  So, funny right?  Heh, yeah…

Well that is all I have.  I could go on and on about 2006.  Sure, 2006 was no 1938, and who can forget the good times we all had in 1996, but she was a good year, and was taken from us far too soon.  I hope 2007 knows that it has a big set of shoes to fill, but there are already some great stories shaping up.  From the possible escalation of troops in Iraq (at least according to Bush, to the Democrats new political strategy for dealing with Republicans of “fuck you, that’s why”, to whatever worthless sack of skin is set to do something truly horrific and still be loved for it, there will be something to bewilder and entertain us throughout the year.  I am sure there are a thousand stories that I didn’t even mention, but these are the ones that got my attention for better or worse.  No doubt I will wake tonight and for weeks to come in the middle of the night in a sweat because I didn’t mention Floyd Landis’ Tour de France win/drug scandal, and I understand the risk I am taking with all the Landis fans out there, but I will attempt to muddle on.  Of all the stories of 2006, without question the one that disturbed me most was just the other day as I was searching for facts on yahoo, and I saw that the most searched word or phrase (not just yahoo, I double checked google as well) was not Israel, Lebanon, OJ, meth preacher, or even to my dismay Pluto, but was in fact “WWE”.  Some things never change.  C’est la vie.

Thanks for reading.